Getting Caught Up

There is an odd fascination with the open desk at our church.  Nobody really talks about it and there seems to be little known about how long it will stay that way.

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Second Verse, Same as the First (And so is the fourth)

Sadly enough, I have lost yet another pastor.  However, this time I think things can be different. For one, I have been able to reflect on this blog and have derived strength from it over the past few days.  I have remembered that God has not forgotten me, and that he as even prepared me for this.  He prepared me over many years, and in many moments to serve my church in this unique role again.

I am encouraged by what the Lord can do, and am prompted to engage him even more than I ever have before.

The Lord will be victorious again, and I ask that you pray for our church as we seek the man that God has set aside for us.

Pray that we hear the Lord, and that upon hearing him, we will obey!

Share

As a counselor and pastor, I am often the facilitator of groups and meetings where I ask people to share themselves with the rest of the group.  At this point I sound like the cliché counselor who asks, “And how does that make you feel?” 

But in all actuality, it is a great question to ask.  In spite of the fact that my church members and counseling clients often roll their eyes at me when they hear those words, it is important that we don’t look past the fact that we are real people who have real feelings and need real release from our emotional bondage. 

One of the best ways that we can find that kind of release is through the sharing of what we have learned.  

For me, this has been a cathartic exercise in reducing the anger and hurt that I felt over many years without a pastor.  Moreover, I have been able to share hope through the struggle by engaging many people who have recently lost pastors, so that they can learn from my mistakes.   

So lets talk.  How does your past make you feel?

Are you angry, hurt, lonely, anxious, perplexed, lethargic etc?

Through what activities do you hope to relieve some of these feelings?

How do you hope others can grow from what you know?

Can you be an encouragement to anyone who is also feeling this way?

People, its ok to FEEL! 

The church has to stop pretending that we never get hurt, and we have to show a lost world what it means to be comforted by the Holy Spirit!  Let the world see that you were hurt, and let them know that the Lord is healing you.  The work isn’t over, but He is the one doing it. 

Spiritual Reflection

Reflection is something that we all know how to do; we simply fail to take the time, and effort necessary to gather the necessary elements to our lives so that we can reflect on our spiritual journey.  What are the elements of personal reflection?  Well, they are the same for your life, as they are for your morning routine.  We need Light, a reflective surface, and focus.

Light – Simply stated, we need a media, through which, and by which we can accurately illuminate our lives.  In this case, the light we need is the Holy Spirit.  We must have a relationship with the Holy Spirit and ask that he will reveal our Journey (good and bad) so that we might know the true nature of what we have gone through, and be able to identify what we must do now, as a result of our past.  Additionally, it is important that we be able to see clearly, so our prayer to the Holy Spirit should begin by asking Him to give us the ability to see.  Our ability to see the truth is based entirely upon the gift of spiritual sight that only God can grant.  Ask Him to deliver that kind of insight to you, so that your attempt to reflect is not spoiled. 

A Reflective Surface – A reflective surface must contain a few distinct properties, so that it will accurately reflect that which it is being presented.  Therefore, we will allow these distinct properties to lead us to the proper reflective surface.  This reflector must be unable to change, because if it did, we would be forced to second guess the reflection in hope/fear that it may be different in a few days/months/years.  Additionally, This surface must be thorough.  The reflector must be something that will adequately sheds light on the subject in question.  Not so small that it fails to paint a good picture, and not to large that the important information gets lost with the magnitude of the picture.  And Finally, the reflector must work in concert with the Light.  It must be an object that has but one purpose, and that is to reveal that which the Light chooses to illuminate. 

With this information at hand, it is easy to surmise that the reflective surface needed for our growth is the Bible.  This may sound a bit cliché, but it is no less true.  The simple truth is, the Bible is the only object that will accurately reveal that which the Holy Spirit intends to display. 

Focus – this is simple.  We must focus on the Bible, and use the illumination of the Holy Spirit to make accurate judgments of our current situation, as well as, the journey that has recently ended.  However, it is important that we reflect on some of the pain, as well as the good.  Too often we focus our attention on the great parts of our story, but neglect to discuss the truly gut-wrenching elements of ministry.  How can we demand honesty from our lives, if we lie to ourselves about what we have gone through?

In the end, what we are really looking for is accuracy.  We must accurately look at the journey we have taken, in order that we can be able to move more effectively in the future.  The ministry of the gospel is not something that lumbers along regardless of the efficacy of its members.  The Lord requires that we be honest and diligent in the work that we put forth for His Church.  Let us then be serious about the care we take of ourselves, especially after a long and arduous trip. 

Reflect, Share Your Struggle, and Real Growth.

As we allow ourselves to be healed, it is important that we also take the opportunity to grow.  Growth is not as simple as it might look, so we are going to take a look at growth over the next few entries.  We need to first look at Reflection, Sharing our Struggle, and finally Real Growth.  This is going to take several posts, so that we don’t skip over the most important part.

Once a pastor is found, it is important to take some time to reflect. 

Reflection is something that is often overlooked when it comes to then end of a long journey.  More often than not, we are so focused on the goal of getting a pastor, that when we finally find, and call a pastor, our churches, as well as, the staff simply allow themselves to be lulled to sleep.  Though rest is a real necessity for those who have been in your shoes, it is of superb importance that you reflect upon your recent journey and identify what has actually gone on. 

What were the high points?

What were the low points?

Where did you succeed?

Where did you fail?

Are you ready to restart your normal work obligations?

Can you focus on YOUR JOB again?

All of these questions, and more, must be answered if you are to grow from this process.  We all want to grow from our experiences, but we rarely take the time to reflect upon the trials of our past, so that we can actually grow.  The first thing we must do, however is reflect. 

But how?

Continue to Forgive...70X7

Letting myself forgive those who have hurt me was a long and arduous journey.  Anyone who has done this can attest that it is a humbling experience to ask for forgiveness, as well as, forgive others of what they have done to harm you.  However, the process cannot stop here.  We must ask the question, “What do I do when someone continues to hurt me?”

I was recently asked this question in a counseling session.  My client asked what they should do about a certain friend who continued to betray trust and go behind the client’s back to hurt them. 

I think the question is a fair one.  I think it must be addressed.  I think Jesus said it best. 

Matthew 18:21-22 ²¹ Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” ²² Jesus *said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

I know that I have heard this passage many times, and have even heard pastors teach this passage on more than one occasion, but I don’t think I have ever noticed one critical word.  This word is “Brother.”  When the question is asked, Peter was indicating that either his brother Andrew, or one of the “brothers” from among Jesus’ disciples was sinning against him.  I’m amazed by this detail, because the command that comes next seems harsh, but when placed in the context of the Body of Christ, it is right at home. 

We are told in the book of 1 Corinthians that Love has several attributes that defy human logic.  Love being the quintessential gift that is given from the Father to His children.  Love is forgiving.  Moreover, Love is named by Jesus as the one identifying attribute of his followers (John 13:35).  So the context of love and forgiveness is not only serious, but it is (at least in this case) focused on the body of believers. 

The short answer is, “When the sinner is a brother, forgive him, and when they are an unbeliever, show them the Love of Jesus, and forgive them.”

When you find yourself attempting to allow the healing of the Holy Spirit to infiltrate your life after your church has found a pastor, forgiveness will be an ongoing issue.  It is ongoing because your “brother” will sin against you, and your mandate is forgiveness.  However, be aware that by doing this, by allowing your brother to be forgiven in the sight of all men, the world will see that you are a follower of Jesus. 

What more could a believer ask for, than to be identified as a follower of the Most High God?

Forgiving Others...

After realizing that I was as much to blame for past hurts as anyone else was, I really thought I would simply stop holding on to grudges, but that simply wasn’t the case.  I continued to have a great deal of anger toward people, in spite of the fact that I recognized that I was at fault too.  My flesh continued to remember the “terrible” nature of what others had done, and weighed other’s sins to be greater than my own.  Nature would not allow me to forgive.  The only way forgiveness could happen, was for me to seek to forgive in the power of the Holy Spirit.

Let’s stop there for a minute…

I’m not sure how many times I’ve heard someone say, “I love them, but I don’t have to like them.” Or, “I could forgive a lot of things, but that’s just the ONE thing I cant get over.”  Both of these kinds of thinking are fleshly processes.  As believers, we are under a new mandate to forgive like Christ forgave, and to love like Christ loves.  Neither of these statements conforms to that idea.  On the contrary, if a person only loves the people that are easy to love, how are they different from anyone else? (Matthew 5:43-48)

Typically, after statements like these, I hear people say something like, “But you don’t understand, because you haven’t been hurt like I have.”

This may be true, but I have to remind that person that Jesus was hurt most of all, and he forgave us all.  (Don’t try to argue this point people; it’s the source and foundation of our faith.  Without it, we have nothing.)

…Now, let’s continue.

Humbling myself before the Lord, I asked the Holy Spirit to give me the understanding and strength to forgive like Christ did.  I began to name people (aloud) who hurt me, and asking that the Lord would open my eyes to see them like Christ sees them. In many cases, my hope was that I would be able to see them as pure, and righteous because of he blood of Jesus, as well as, co-heirs with Christ to the throne of God. (Romans 8:12-17)

One by one, I would name people and pray that the Lord would bring life into my heart, where previously there was death.  And one by one, He did.

There have been times that I regressed, and there have been times that I have had to return to my knees to allow the Lord to reteach me about forgiveness, but it had to start somewhere. 

As ministers of the Gospel, your church, coworkers, and even your pastor will eventually hurt you.  That is one of the ongoing truths of the world in which we live.  But the truth of the gospel is that forgiveness is real, and we receive it like we share it.

Forgiveness. What an ugly word?

You might think we, as Americans (not to mention citizens of the Kingdom of God) believe forgiveness to be a dirty word.  I say that, because it seams like every time I bring it up to students, peers, or even my elders, I get some snide comment, or a look of derision that would suggest that either the person I’m talking to is “above” forgiving others, or that the offense they have endured is to heinous to let go.  It’s almost as though we have conditioned ourselves to hold grudges, in order that we wont be hurt again.  But there’s nothing that would suggest that if you become a bitter old bag of wind, that you would never be hurt again.  On the contrary, when bitterness builds inside you, hurt will eventually be all you can feel. 

Forgiveness is a hard thing, but that doesn’t make it a bad thing.  We have been given a mandate to forgive, and as believers we must begin to share this discipline with others, in order that we are able to receive forgiveness. (Matthew 6:12)

The first step, for me, in forgiveness was when I admitted to a close friend that I had made some serious mistakes while I was in my former church. 

-I admitted that a number of issues that had come up had not been in my job description, but I tried to handle them anyway.  (See ‘Don’t Fight the Pastor’s Battles…’) 

Regardless of my justification of these activities in the past, I know now that I never should have been involved. 

-I admitted that I had failed my church, by failing in my personal walk with the Lord. 

From big to small, I had allowed the evil one to creep in and lie to me.  I entertained notions that he gave to me about my value, and how important I was to the church.

-I admitted that I had failed…that I had come up short… 

This was a HUGE struggle, but brought with it, the greatest sense of relief.  I am amazed how liberating it has been for me, now that I’m not trying to figure out how to blame someone else for all the stuff that went wrong. 

Forgiveness takes humility, and admitting that you are as culpable as the next person for the failures of your church is a great place to start.  When we rest in the Lord, and when we take time to be healed, we have to start by ending the war that many of us are waging against others in the church. 

Sharing forgiveness starts when you realize you are also in need of forgiveness…

Dude...UNPLUG!

This is the hardest thing that I have had to learn to do in regards to taking a day off.  It is also the thing that I am continuing to struggle with as I attempt to reserve time for my growing family.  As ironic as it may be to blog about taking time away from our electronic devices, it doesn’t change the fact that your computer, tablet, phone, MP3 player, or even the television can distract you from what is most important in you life.

More often than not, those of us who are in ministry, or even those who are not, are knit so tightly to our electronic devices, that we lose sight of the wonderful experience of interacting with our families.  If we were to get practical about this, like we did in the last post, I think you should take a few moments (before your coffee break) to tidy up your electronic work place so that you can really allow yourself to engage your spouse and children.

-Power Down All Devices.

            WHAAAAAAATTTTTT????

Yes, I mean power them down.  Don’t put them to sleep. Don’t put them on silent. Don’t even put them on something dumb like Airplane mode, because when you take these half-measures with your rest, you will never really be letting them go.  If you have done all that you needed to do throughout your workweek to set up the time you are taking off, then you have no need to be ready for that text, email, or even phone call. 

*Remember

-Your coworkers are not as important as your family is.

-It can wait a few hours. (Whatever “it” is.)

-Your thoughts on twitter, facebook, instagram, etc. are not as important as you think they are…

-The world will go on spinning if you don’t check your email. 

(If you disagree with any of these things, you have a serious problem, and you need to get serious help…I mean it, get help!)

-Talk to Your Family.

Yes, there is a thing called verbal communication and even if your child is 3 months old, he/she needs you to talk to them.  Read a book together, play a game, talk about THEIR week, or even tell them how much you have missed them through the past few days.  Talk about your trials and triumphs as a family, plan a vacation, or even discuss what you want for dinner and go to the store, buy the food, then cook it together, and even clean up for your wife!!!

(If you haven’t figured this out, its kind of easy to get rolling once you, turn off the stuff that distracts you.)

-Eat Together.

            I don’t care if its just a bowl of cereal…eat it at the table, together. 

-Make Memories…do stuff.

Eventually, you will start to love this time with your family, and you will get excited about what you are able to do with it.  Then, the only precaution I would give you is, don’t do too much.  Take time to rest, not just see every attraction in your local area.  Playing in the back yard with your kids is just as important as Disneyland.  (Don’t tell Michael Eisner about that, I’m not sure he’d react well to that kind of nonsense…I hear he has a lot of time on his hands these days.)

In short, make time for your kids, make time for your wife, let you family know that you are not at work, and make sure they notice the lack of wires, devices, and subsequent radiation protruding from your body as you do it. 

Unplug from the virtual world, and engage the real world…if only for one day.

If I Dont Work, What Do I Do?

One of the better questions I had to answer when I started the process of allowing myself to be healed is, “What do I do when I don’t work?”  Wisely using your down time to recover from the week, and engaging your family, is a difficult, but exciting discovery process.  The question you have to answer first is, “How long has it been since you did nothing?”

Nothing is a hard thing to do, but for a short period of time on your day off, you should really try it.  And when I say that you should try to do NOTHING, that’s exactly what I mean.  It is more therapeutic than you might thing, but the process of secluding yourself from outside influences for a short period of time, can be a great way to decompress from the workweek, and make yourself ready for family and/or friends.  It is also a great way to help you reflect on yourself.  Not thinking about work, schedules, or other responsibilities, but simply focusing on your current state of being.  (All hippie references aside, finding yourself at peace once a week is a wonderful salve for the scars that the world has inflicted.)

If you don’t know how you are going to do this whole “nothing” thing, may I suggest that you:

-Begin the day about 30 minutes later than you usually do. 

Studies have shown that sleeping in more than 30-45 minutes on your day off makes the next week much harder on you.

-Make sure you have discussed your “nothing” time with your spouse.

Your spouse should be your biggest advocate in this time, and should help to guard these few minutes each day by shielding you from possible “Nothingness Corrupters” like, children, phone calls, and music television…

-Get a large cup of your favorite breakfast beverage.

This is far more practical than you might think.  The consumption of a nice hot beverage in the morning can help you to begin the day, increase blood flow, and most importantly, drinking this beverage will help you to meter your “nothingness” time.  Not to long, not to short, just right…

-Find a quite place and meditate on how AWESOME our God is!

If there is any single thing that I have learned throughout this process, and throughout the few years I do have on this earth, it is that my God has never failed me.  Not once.  Not kind of.  Not a little bit.  Not at all.  He has always been there for me, and when I reflect on who he is, and what he has done for me, I am far more able to rejoice for the rest of the day.  NO devotion material!  No great sermons from great pastors! There is another time for all that.  
Simply bask in the glory that is our Wonderful God!!!

-When its over, its over…till next week.

Don’t dawdle, don’t start to plan your week out, don’t try to figure out how your neighbor got their lawn to look like that, and definitely don’t abuse the grace of your spouse who is probably waiting on you by now.  When the cup is empty, engage your family. 

There is nothing about this plan that is magic, not is there only one way to do nothing.  This is simply a way to start.  Make it your own.  Make it work for you and your family.  Make it happen.  In a few weeks, though, you will begin to ask yourself how you ever functioned without some time alone…and the truth probably is, you didn’t. 

What is Sabbath anyway?

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I must admit, until a couple of years ago, I was extremely cynical about the Sabbath, and any form of practice of it.  I thought of it as an antiquated practice of religion, rather than trying to figure out why the Lord commanded his people to do it in the first place.  But the Christian practice of Sabbath was never really explained to me, and as a minister (who works on Sunday) I just assumed that I wouldn’t be able to take Sabbath. 

And the thought of taking Saturday off seemed impossible with all the important stuff I had to do throughout the week.  (As arrogant of a statement as I have ever made…)

However, after hearing a sermon by Matt Chandler on the practice of the Sabbath, I was amazed by the implication that is made in the scripture.  The practice of the Sabbath is as much about work, as it is about relaxation.  Not that our practice of the Sabbath is as much work as the New Testament Pharisees made it out to be, but that we must prepare ourselves, or occupation, and our homes in advance if we are ever to hope to actually take rest. 

Exodus 20:8-11

⁸ “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. ⁹ Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, ¹⁰ but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. ¹¹ For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

As I read this passage, I am primarily interested in verse 9.  The command is not simply that we cant work on Sabbath, but instead, that in 6 days, we must complete all of our work.  If we are to take this passage literally, we must prepare the Sabbath, by working diligently for 6 days so that we have completed all the work that must be done.  Once that is done, we have the freedom to take the Sabbath with our family, without worrying about our job. 

It seems simple, and a little bit naïve that we can actually do this, but before you try to talk yourself out of taking Sabbath, answer this question first. 

Have you ever, worked 6 days straight, to make room for rest?

If not, maybe you should try…

For more by Jeremy A. Walker, check out www.jeremyawalker.com 

Make Me Lie Down

Psalm 23:1

²     He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.

Sometimes, the last thing I want to do is stop moving.  When I think about the time that I spent without a pastor, it was a time that was packed full of work and worry; not that work and worry should have been a part of that time, I made it that way.  At a certain point, the toll that overworking takes on a body, mind, and spirit can’t be overcome by another vacation.  I needed real rest.  Real rest is found when you stop working for things that the Lord has already provided.  

The idea that the Lord makes us to lie down in green pastures is more than simply a nice turn of phrase.  The fact of the matter is, the Lord made the pasture, grew the grass, provided the water, and created the creatures that are blessed by it.  Because the Lord is our shepherd, we don’t simply wander around hoping to find enough to live on.  We know that the Lord is able to manifest what we need from nothing, because all that is created was created at his word.  We are safe, because he guards us, and his hand sustains us.  

As a minister, it is imperative that you begin to view the Lord as the fulfillment of all you need, the source of your strength, and the director of your path.  If you attempt to bare down and work hard enough to overcome your obstacles, you will fail in one critical area.  We must find our sustenance in the Lord, not in our own hands.  You will never be able to provide your needs.  The sooner you realize that, the sooner you will be able to find rest. 

TBH

To be honest, I’d almost forgotten about this blog since I’ve been working on Checklist Jesus for the past 2 years.  However, I think it’s important to complete this work, because the Lord has done such a good job completing it for me.  

When I began this project in 2009, I was aware of the fact that I needed to have an overall outline in mind so that I wouldn’t wander all over the place in my attempt to share this message.  The final “chapter” in this project is a section called, “Allow Yourself to be Healed.”  This was were the journey stopped for me as far as this blog goes, and now that I look back on it, it stopped there for a reason.  I was not ready to be healed, nor was I aware of how healing could even take place after such a difficult time at the church where I was serving.  

Today is a different story.

The Lord has shared great mercy, kindness, and patience with me over the past two years in ministry, and has chosen to deliver me from the bitterness and anger that I harbored.  The next few posts in this blog will be about how the Holy Spirit has brought me to a place of healing.  

I am reminded of Psalm 23, and how the promise of protection and healing is nothing new for the God we serve

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
²     He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
³     He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
    for his name's sake.

⁴ Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.