Getting Caught Up

There is an odd fascination with the open desk at our church.  Nobody really talks about it and there seems to be little known about how long it will stay that way.

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Second Verse, Same as the First (And so is the fourth)

Sadly enough, I have lost yet another pastor.  However, this time I think things can be different. For one, I have been able to reflect on this blog and have derived strength from it over the past few days.  I have remembered that God has not forgotten me, and that he as even prepared me for this.  He prepared me over many years, and in many moments to serve my church in this unique role again.

I am encouraged by what the Lord can do, and am prompted to engage him even more than I ever have before.

The Lord will be victorious again, and I ask that you pray for our church as we seek the man that God has set aside for us.

Pray that we hear the Lord, and that upon hearing him, we will obey!

Share

As a counselor and pastor, I am often the facilitator of groups and meetings where I ask people to share themselves with the rest of the group.  At this point I sound like the cliché counselor who asks, “And how does that make you feel?” 

But in all actuality, it is a great question to ask.  In spite of the fact that my church members and counseling clients often roll their eyes at me when they hear those words, it is important that we don’t look past the fact that we are real people who have real feelings and need real release from our emotional bondage. 

One of the best ways that we can find that kind of release is through the sharing of what we have learned.  

For me, this has been a cathartic exercise in reducing the anger and hurt that I felt over many years without a pastor.  Moreover, I have been able to share hope through the struggle by engaging many people who have recently lost pastors, so that they can learn from my mistakes.   

So lets talk.  How does your past make you feel?

Are you angry, hurt, lonely, anxious, perplexed, lethargic etc?

Through what activities do you hope to relieve some of these feelings?

How do you hope others can grow from what you know?

Can you be an encouragement to anyone who is also feeling this way?

People, its ok to FEEL! 

The church has to stop pretending that we never get hurt, and we have to show a lost world what it means to be comforted by the Holy Spirit!  Let the world see that you were hurt, and let them know that the Lord is healing you.  The work isn’t over, but He is the one doing it. 

Spiritual Reflection

Reflection is something that we all know how to do; we simply fail to take the time, and effort necessary to gather the necessary elements to our lives so that we can reflect on our spiritual journey.  What are the elements of personal reflection?  Well, they are the same for your life, as they are for your morning routine.  We need Light, a reflective surface, and focus.

Light – Simply stated, we need a media, through which, and by which we can accurately illuminate our lives.  In this case, the light we need is the Holy Spirit.  We must have a relationship with the Holy Spirit and ask that he will reveal our Journey (good and bad) so that we might know the true nature of what we have gone through, and be able to identify what we must do now, as a result of our past.  Additionally, it is important that we be able to see clearly, so our prayer to the Holy Spirit should begin by asking Him to give us the ability to see.  Our ability to see the truth is based entirely upon the gift of spiritual sight that only God can grant.  Ask Him to deliver that kind of insight to you, so that your attempt to reflect is not spoiled. 

A Reflective Surface – A reflective surface must contain a few distinct properties, so that it will accurately reflect that which it is being presented.  Therefore, we will allow these distinct properties to lead us to the proper reflective surface.  This reflector must be unable to change, because if it did, we would be forced to second guess the reflection in hope/fear that it may be different in a few days/months/years.  Additionally, This surface must be thorough.  The reflector must be something that will adequately sheds light on the subject in question.  Not so small that it fails to paint a good picture, and not to large that the important information gets lost with the magnitude of the picture.  And Finally, the reflector must work in concert with the Light.  It must be an object that has but one purpose, and that is to reveal that which the Light chooses to illuminate. 

With this information at hand, it is easy to surmise that the reflective surface needed for our growth is the Bible.  This may sound a bit cliché, but it is no less true.  The simple truth is, the Bible is the only object that will accurately reveal that which the Holy Spirit intends to display. 

Focus – this is simple.  We must focus on the Bible, and use the illumination of the Holy Spirit to make accurate judgments of our current situation, as well as, the journey that has recently ended.  However, it is important that we reflect on some of the pain, as well as the good.  Too often we focus our attention on the great parts of our story, but neglect to discuss the truly gut-wrenching elements of ministry.  How can we demand honesty from our lives, if we lie to ourselves about what we have gone through?

In the end, what we are really looking for is accuracy.  We must accurately look at the journey we have taken, in order that we can be able to move more effectively in the future.  The ministry of the gospel is not something that lumbers along regardless of the efficacy of its members.  The Lord requires that we be honest and diligent in the work that we put forth for His Church.  Let us then be serious about the care we take of ourselves, especially after a long and arduous trip. 

Reflect, Share Your Struggle, and Real Growth.

As we allow ourselves to be healed, it is important that we also take the opportunity to grow.  Growth is not as simple as it might look, so we are going to take a look at growth over the next few entries.  We need to first look at Reflection, Sharing our Struggle, and finally Real Growth.  This is going to take several posts, so that we don’t skip over the most important part.

Once a pastor is found, it is important to take some time to reflect. 

Reflection is something that is often overlooked when it comes to then end of a long journey.  More often than not, we are so focused on the goal of getting a pastor, that when we finally find, and call a pastor, our churches, as well as, the staff simply allow themselves to be lulled to sleep.  Though rest is a real necessity for those who have been in your shoes, it is of superb importance that you reflect upon your recent journey and identify what has actually gone on. 

What were the high points?

What were the low points?

Where did you succeed?

Where did you fail?

Are you ready to restart your normal work obligations?

Can you focus on YOUR JOB again?

All of these questions, and more, must be answered if you are to grow from this process.  We all want to grow from our experiences, but we rarely take the time to reflect upon the trials of our past, so that we can actually grow.  The first thing we must do, however is reflect. 

But how?

Continue to Forgive...70X7

Letting myself forgive those who have hurt me was a long and arduous journey.  Anyone who has done this can attest that it is a humbling experience to ask for forgiveness, as well as, forgive others of what they have done to harm you.  However, the process cannot stop here.  We must ask the question, “What do I do when someone continues to hurt me?”

I was recently asked this question in a counseling session.  My client asked what they should do about a certain friend who continued to betray trust and go behind the client’s back to hurt them. 

I think the question is a fair one.  I think it must be addressed.  I think Jesus said it best. 

Matthew 18:21-22 ²¹ Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” ²² Jesus *said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

I know that I have heard this passage many times, and have even heard pastors teach this passage on more than one occasion, but I don’t think I have ever noticed one critical word.  This word is “Brother.”  When the question is asked, Peter was indicating that either his brother Andrew, or one of the “brothers” from among Jesus’ disciples was sinning against him.  I’m amazed by this detail, because the command that comes next seems harsh, but when placed in the context of the Body of Christ, it is right at home. 

We are told in the book of 1 Corinthians that Love has several attributes that defy human logic.  Love being the quintessential gift that is given from the Father to His children.  Love is forgiving.  Moreover, Love is named by Jesus as the one identifying attribute of his followers (John 13:35).  So the context of love and forgiveness is not only serious, but it is (at least in this case) focused on the body of believers. 

The short answer is, “When the sinner is a brother, forgive him, and when they are an unbeliever, show them the Love of Jesus, and forgive them.”

When you find yourself attempting to allow the healing of the Holy Spirit to infiltrate your life after your church has found a pastor, forgiveness will be an ongoing issue.  It is ongoing because your “brother” will sin against you, and your mandate is forgiveness.  However, be aware that by doing this, by allowing your brother to be forgiven in the sight of all men, the world will see that you are a follower of Jesus. 

What more could a believer ask for, than to be identified as a follower of the Most High God?

Forgiving Others...

After realizing that I was as much to blame for past hurts as anyone else was, I really thought I would simply stop holding on to grudges, but that simply wasn’t the case.  I continued to have a great deal of anger toward people, in spite of the fact that I recognized that I was at fault too.  My flesh continued to remember the “terrible” nature of what others had done, and weighed other’s sins to be greater than my own.  Nature would not allow me to forgive.  The only way forgiveness could happen, was for me to seek to forgive in the power of the Holy Spirit.

Let’s stop there for a minute…

I’m not sure how many times I’ve heard someone say, “I love them, but I don’t have to like them.” Or, “I could forgive a lot of things, but that’s just the ONE thing I cant get over.”  Both of these kinds of thinking are fleshly processes.  As believers, we are under a new mandate to forgive like Christ forgave, and to love like Christ loves.  Neither of these statements conforms to that idea.  On the contrary, if a person only loves the people that are easy to love, how are they different from anyone else? (Matthew 5:43-48)

Typically, after statements like these, I hear people say something like, “But you don’t understand, because you haven’t been hurt like I have.”

This may be true, but I have to remind that person that Jesus was hurt most of all, and he forgave us all.  (Don’t try to argue this point people; it’s the source and foundation of our faith.  Without it, we have nothing.)

…Now, let’s continue.

Humbling myself before the Lord, I asked the Holy Spirit to give me the understanding and strength to forgive like Christ did.  I began to name people (aloud) who hurt me, and asking that the Lord would open my eyes to see them like Christ sees them. In many cases, my hope was that I would be able to see them as pure, and righteous because of he blood of Jesus, as well as, co-heirs with Christ to the throne of God. (Romans 8:12-17)

One by one, I would name people and pray that the Lord would bring life into my heart, where previously there was death.  And one by one, He did.

There have been times that I regressed, and there have been times that I have had to return to my knees to allow the Lord to reteach me about forgiveness, but it had to start somewhere. 

As ministers of the Gospel, your church, coworkers, and even your pastor will eventually hurt you.  That is one of the ongoing truths of the world in which we live.  But the truth of the gospel is that forgiveness is real, and we receive it like we share it.